Bitch Eclipse

Feb. 8/96

So here I am and god I am ticked at myself. Jack came and sat with me on my spare, and well, you know how I get nervous or self-concious or I don't know what to say, so I play with my hair? Well, I was talking with him, I kept playing with my hair, and I told him why I did that when he asked me. God I feel RETARDED. Debs and Pamala say he likes me but I don't know if I believe that, especially if he realises what a dork I am. I can can be dorky--especially around guys I like. Yes, I can be dorky, and generally am.

It gets even worse--I was talking to him in Geo and Emily Goldman shoves her fat head in the picture and totally eclipses me. Literally. With her fat heat, she just bowled me out of the way and said phony and friendly, "Hi! I'm Emily Goldman" and gave me a dirty look. "I don't think we've been properly introduced."

Who the hell talks like that? What is this, a debutante ball? Well, excuse me, but I don't think I like being shoved out by some ditz and her fat head, so I don't think I'll move aside just yet. Bitch.

But what if I'm being too presumptuous? What if he's just being friendly? Really. He's new to the school, and doesn't know many people, so.... ahh! I don't know anything!